Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

(Source: flyingscotsman, via superlockedhogwartianinthetardis)

279,643 notes

running4thehigh:

Just in case no one told you today:

  • Good morning
  • You’re beautiful
  • I love you
  • Nice butt

(via thelostdiademoftrenzalore)

121,495 notes

chaystar:

Mom: “You’re the only teenager that spends their whole day on the internet”

image

(via superlockedhogwartianinthetardis)

316,640 notes

traceexcalibur:

my favourite insults are the ones where you just take a noun and a swear and mash them together. what’s up pisscouch? how you doin’ fucktrain. hope you’re havin’ a swell day, asslamp

(via sydthekidsloth)

254,664 notes

echoesofoswin:

leonkuwatastonguepiercing:

mukuroikusabaka:

finish this sentence: m

y body craves for the touch of mashed potatoes, the soft white flesh of the vegetable sliding over my body. i havent slept in fifteen days. only the beautiful rapturous gooey white semi solid plant matter inspires me to continue living. sometimes i like to imagine that the mashed potatoes have accepted me as their loving partner. oh can i dream.

What the actual fuck

(via david-tennants-ass)

163,938 notes